Approach vs Heart

Does our approach reveal our heart or misrepresent it? Approach could encompass many things but in general I view it as our posture towards something or someone- relationships, people, tasks, situations, obstacles, etc. What happens when our heart is misrepresented by our approach? Relationships are damaged, people are hurt, and we are confused and frustrated. How does this happen? How can I feel one thing but be communicating something entirely different?

Perhaps this individual is not able to receive the truth of our heart towards them because they have made an agreement with a lie from the enemy. (I am unlovable, unwanted, misunderstood, meant to be alone, always abandoned, etc) Everything you say and do is filtered through this lie- so no matter how much effort you put forth in trying to communicate love and acceptance; it is translated as rejection, betrayal, whatever lie they have believed.

But it’s also possible that your heart and your approach are not in alignment. Your approach does not reveal your heart, but misrepresents your heart towards this person or situation. Chances are if your approach is misrepresenting your heart towards this person or situation it is also misrepresenting God’s heart towards them. How tragic- that this person might never know the depth of our love or of Christ’ love towards them simply our approach is wrong. The Godly approach that communicates what we desire to communicate will be different for each person and situation. When I look at how Jesus approached certain people and situations sometimes I am perplexed but this morning I was reminded that his approach always communicated exactly what his heart felt and what needed to be communicated to that person.

This morning out of nowhere the Lord began to tell me about how well he knew my heart- how he knew better than anyone else how deeply I longed to please him, to love others well, to love him well- and I began to weep… because my heart has been misunderstood recently. I’ve sat and wondered, “Lord, how did I communicate this to this person when it’s so much different than what I feel towards them”? The answer comes down to approach. It’s true- the heavenly knows it is- my heart towards them is right, holy. But my heart becomes irrelevant when my approach doesn’t properly reveal it.

So what do we do here? Well, first we resist the urge to sit and pout about being so misunderstood. We resist the urge to agree with the enemy that we are misunderstood, not valued, not truly seen by anyone, that this relationship or person is not worth the trouble. And we ask the Lord to reveal to this person any agreement they may have made with the enemy about themselves that may be blocking their ability to hear what our heart is truly speaking to them. And then we humble ourselves and we ask the Lord to show us where our approach towards this person has been wrong- Has it been harsh? Dismissive? Condescending? And we ask the Lord to change us. We ask the Holy Spirit to be our translator- to transform our approach into something holy that reveals the heart that God has placed inside of us for them. We may need to go to this person and share our true heart with them and ask them “Has this hurt that I have caused you originated from my true heart towards you or from my approach”? How can I change my approach? We realize that our heart and our approach are separate. They are not always in alignment and sometimes we have to take them into Jesus’ repair shop for realignment. We realize that having our approach rejected or corrected is not the same thing as having our heart rejected. How can they reject us, our hearts, if they aren’t truly seeing them? We are not our approach but our relationships will be deeply shaped by them, they will affect our lives and the quality of our relationships. And so I invite you to take a moment and pray with me today:

“Lord, you know my heart. You put the stars into place and yet you know me. You have memorized me. I want to love you well. I want to love your people well. I want to glorify you in all that I do. Lord, if my heart is not right towards _________ or ____________ please show me. I receive your correction. Make my heart right. Holy Spirit would you come and translate for me? Would you show me how to approach this relationship/ situation/ person in a way that glorifies you and truly reveals my heart and your heart? Would you come into this relationship and transform it? Would you show me any agreement that I have made with the enemy about this person or myself that is blocking true intimacy? Would you reveal to this person any agreement that they have made with the enemy that would prevent them from receiving your love or my love? We rebuke, break and renounce every agreement with have made with the lies of the enemy, in Jesus name. Thank you, Lord, for who you are. Thank you, for revealing that you might heal. You are good. I trust you. I place my heart and my relationships in your hands today. Have your way. Thank you for allowing me to be your hands, your feet, and your mouth piece. I never want to misrepresent you. I love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Isn’t God’s work glorious?